Working for the man every night and day

And so another term comes to an end. It’s been a great four months for me and even though I’m not actually in school I think it’s safe to say that I have learned quite a bit. Probably more than I learned in high-school. I figure it’s a good time to list all the things that I’ve learned during my first co-op work term.

Watch, then repeat
Whenever you go to somewhere new you always feel kinda awkward. Do I tip 15%? or just the tax? Does the faucet turn to the left or right for hot water… Oh.. it’s up? Is this door automatic.. oh. no it isn’t. Push or Pull? Normally questions like this we never need to ask ourselves, but when we’re suddenly pushed into a situation where we have no clue how anything works, don’t guess. Position yourself behind someone who’s going the same way you are. The watch them. Just do what they do. At a restaurant? “Oh.. that sounds really good, I’ll have what he’s having!” It’s fool proof. Just watch, then repeat and you’ll look like a pro. It’s best to look bored while doing it, then everyone will think this is a daily part of your life. Even if inside you’re giggling and how the automatic faucet turns out when you walk too close.

Schmooze
When it’s your first day, it’s easy to sit at your desk and ignore everyone else. It’s also rather tempting to not have to deal with everyone, but don’t listen to yourself. You’ll end up branded the weird guy that just sits by himself. Instead, pretend like you’re lost and ask someone who looks nice (probably someone with kids you can latch on to) to show you were the cafeteria is. you’ll probably make a new friend who will more than likely introduce you to somemore people. Just make sure you

Don’t treat them like your friend
Now, when I’m around my friends it’s pretty common to laugh at each other. It’s also common to yell out “NO YOU!” or “HA, that’s what she said”. Maybe even “That’s not what your mom said”. You must resist that urge. No matter how close you feel to someone, unless they hang out with you regularily they’re not friends, they’re colleagues. Treat them as such. I know a good friend, we’ll call Walla, who made a your mom joke to a colleague. The guy didn’t respond and just walked away. Walla later found out that his colleagues’ mother had died. Of cancer. Nothing makes you seem more like more of a dick that making fun of dead loved ones.

It’s not up to you
You know your stuff. Clearly. Or else you wouldn’t have ended up doing what you’re doing right now. But let’s get one thing straight. You don’t call the shots. So even when you know there’s a better way to do things, don’t just run out and do them. Talk to someone higher up and ask if it’s alright. A two minute conversation might save you being kicked out for not following proper procedure.

Except that it is
That’s right. Working is completely different from being in school. You have a deadline in school. You have a curriculum. Think of working as an online course. Except that you’re not allowed to leave early, you have to be on time daily, and even when you leave you still end up thinking about work. You are your own boss. Sure someone higher up gives you the work, but you are in charge of how you get it done. Think about that kid in class who sucked up all the time. The one who handed in homework early, laughed at the teachers stupid jokes, told on all the kids and got straight A’s. Now become them. That kid was a master at being his own boss. Remember, it matters that you hand in things ahead of schedule. Besides, if you don’t, how will you find time for all that facebook?

Limited Profiles
Since we’re on Facebook, set up networks. Use limited access protocols! People from work should never know that in your free time you dress up as Darth Vader and attend Star Wars conventions (Unless you’re in the IT department). They should never know that your “sick day” was really a day at Wonderland. They shouldn’t know that you “got blazed last night” or that you dress up like a faerie. Shit like that? That’s for your friends, not your colleagues.

Learn to call it a night
You’re used to stay up till 4am to get things done. After all college/university is ALL about cramming and last minute work. You’re a master at waiting till 4am to start a proect, finishing it in time for your 10am class, handing it in and then going to sleep. But that shit doesn’t fly anymore. You’re up till 4? Too bad, you’re still pulling a 9-5. Didn’t sleep at ALL last night? Can’t call in sick, you have work to do. You need to master the art of “goodnight” I can admit that I do my best work after 11pm. I’m wide awake, the lights are all off and the soft glow of my computer screen and the clicky-click-click between songs really drive me to be my most productive. But knowing that I have to be up early the next day means that once 12am rolls around, I start winding down. It doesn’t matter if I have a great idea I absolutely must finish, I try and call it quits. It doesn’t always work, but when it does I get to wake up the next morning without feeling too groggy.

Take it in stride
You will have to adapt no doubt. And your friends will make fun of you for not being able to stay out late, or play video games, or do things that you once used to do without thinking about. I used to go out till 3 or 4 am and then go to school the next day.. if I felt like that. All of that changes though. Just keep in mind. You make money now. That shit is worth it.

This list, while tongue in cheek, is still meant to impart some knowledge on ye without any working experience. Take it in stride, and keep it in mind.